As a married woman, have you ever wished your husband were dead in order to have peace of mind and freedom to do whatever you desire doing?
Someone might say right now:
“I do hate my HUSBAND. He is rude, controlling, unbearable, immoral, demanding, wicked, insulting, harsh, dictatorial, unloving, fornicator etc. I hate him. I know when he goes out with his friends, he is busy watching other women lustfully and cheating on me. He is such a creep! He is such a pervert! I am so full of rage right now and I feel like breaking something. I just wish I had never met him. Why can’t he just die or leave me alone that I might have peace? My God I can’t stand it anymore! HOW CAN I KILL THIS WICKED HUSBAND OF MINE?“
Well i have a good news for you. THERE IS A WAY OUT! But in this case we are not talking about your literal husband whom you are married to but your spiritual husband, even Satan, whose power reside in the flesh or carnal mind. Therefore, this article is not a “how to kill your spouse” article and i am not advocating for anyone to do that. The husband is the Satan but Satan cannot be killed until christ’s coming after 1000 years in heaven, but Satan works through the medium of the Old man, body of death, flesh or the carnal mind. Therefore it is the flesh or carnal mind that must be killed or put to death.
You are not alone in this predicament. All born of Adam, born of flesh and blood, are experiencing this same issue and the Bible has given us the answer to this question. To know how to KILL YOUR HUSBAND, you must follow this series of article till the end in order to grasp the solution. Let us begin with the marriage problem.
THE MARRIAGE PROBLEM
Just as the earthly sanctuary was given to Moses as an illustration of the heavenly Sanctuary, God has designed the earthly marriage between male and female to be an illustration of the heavenly/spiritual marriage between Christ and His church. For it is written:
“But it is not the spiritual which is first but the physical, and then the spiritual.” 1 Cor. 15:46 (RSV).
The physical or natural (KJV) comes first before the spiritual. This is an important Biblical principle which we need to take note of. The Lord likens the earthly or physical things of this world to the things of heaven because our feeble and weak mind cannot fully comprehend the kingdom of God. Christ during his earthly ministry used the things of nature; the things around us to explain the kingdom of God. Thus, Paul in Romans 7 chose the marriage relationship as a proper illustration of the Gospel truth.
Roman 7:1-6 is what I regard as the Gospel of Jesus Christ simplified. Although much of what Paul wrote is “hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest . . . unto their own destruction.” 2 Peter 3:16. But as we shall see in this study that Romans 7 is one of the simplest illustration of the Gospel truth that one could ever find in the scripture.
Let us carefully and prayerfully read what the following verses:
“Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.”
God said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Gen 2:24.
It is the law of God that binds both parties together to become one flesh and not two. This law is the law of marriage instituted by god himself. It is the moral law. The man and the woman are united together in mind and spirit and no man is allowed to separate them because the Lord has joined them together (Matthew 19:5, 6). The Law has dominion over a man (or woman) as long as he (or she) lives. (Rom 7:1; 1 Cor. 7:39). He (or she) cannot leave the marriage or break the marriage covenant to marry another person without any genuine reason. If he or she leaves the marriage or break the marriage covenant for another marriage relationship, while the first husband is still alive, the Law will condemn such person for committing adultery (Rom 7:3).
The nature of this marriage is explained as follows:
We see a woman who is tired and frustrated of her marriage. She finds herself bound to the law of marriage against her will. She didn’t bargain for such a marriage. Her husband is cruel, wicked, abusive, harsh, unloving and also controls her against her will to do evil. He is a dictator; forcing her to perform the evil which she wouldn’t want to perform. She finds herself under a severe bondage. She cries daily to be delivered from such unsympathetic and inconsiderate husband. As she lay on her bed daily, she often thinks of how to kill her husband. She reason daily, “How on earth can I free myself from my evil Husband?”
She only has two options before her. These two options were given by Jesus and Apostle Paul.
- Adultery: The woman can give her husband a letter of divorce to terminate the marriage if she catches her husband in the act of adultery. By doing this she is permitted to marry another person of her choice and she is free from the condemnation of the law. She can also decide to commit adultery with another man in order to receive a letter of divorce from her husband which will bring freedom from her cruel husband. “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Mat 5:31-32 (c.f Matt 19:7-9).
- Death: When the man dies then the woman is free to marry another person of her choice. “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” Rom 7:2-3 (c.f 1 Cor. 7:39).
The first option of adultery is broken into two. That is, the man committing adultery or the woman committing adultery. In the case of the desperate and frustrated woman illustrated above, the husband would not opt for the option of committing adultery. He is so attached to the woman that he wouldn’t have time to commit adultery with another woman. Even if he commits adultery with another, he is so clever in the act that he can never be caughtb for it is only when you are caught in the act of adultery can the woman write a letter of divorce. Therefore the cruel husband would not choose to leave the woman in any way.
The option of committing adultery by the woman is also very dangerous. You see, if the woman is caught committing adultery, the Law that binds her to her husband is the same law that will condemn her to death. In fact, like the woman taken in adultery in John 8:1-11, the law demands her life by stoning her to death (vs. 5). Therefore she cannot choose the option of committing adultery because she will either be jailed or put to death depending on the law of the land and this will even give the husband an upper hand of marrying another woman. She is not as clever as the husband for she would be caught if she commits adultery.
The woman is then left with the second option which is also broken into two.
The option of committing murder by killing her husband is in the same manner dangerous. The husband is far intelligent than her. He is smarter, wiser, and stronger than her. Therefore, she cannot even succeed a hairbreadth. If she is caught in the act of trying to kill her husband in her strength, power and cleverness, the law will condemn her and she shall be found guilty. The knowledge of this truth leads to a deeper frustration. She thought within herself:
“if only I can find a way to kill my husband and at the same time remain vindicated by the law for doing so, then I will be free. But how can I accomplish this plan?”
As she contemplates daily on how to accomplish her mission, Lo, she met another handsome looking Man who is in direct opposite, in every respect, to her present husband. This new Man is kind, loving, gentle, good, sympathetic, strong (even far stronger than her husband), smarter, far intelligent, caring, joyful and patient. “Living with him”, she reasoned, “will bring life, blessing, fruitfulness and peace to her bitter soul.”
But the problem is this:
The Law forbids any marriage outside her present marriage while her husband is still alive even though she desires to marry this new Man that is showing her all the love and kindness she ever desire. It is impossible to marry this new Man because the law will regard the act adulterous despite the much wooing from the new Man. In fact, contrary to his nature, this new Man cannot marry the woman until the old husband is dead. The solution to her despicable marriage is for her husband and her children to be done away with and eradicated before a new marriage can be consummated. She so much hates the husband that her fruits or children is loathed with passion. The only way she can achieve this solution is to look for someone who can kill her husband and her children and at the same time remain vindicated or justified. She needs a power outside of her present marriage that is far stronger than her that will do a clean job.
But the question yet to be answered is this: “Who can deliver her from this mess she has plunge into?”
“Why all this” some one might ask.
In Romans 7:1-6 Paul was using the analogy of earthly marriage to explain our spiritual marriage or union with Satan (satan works through the flesh and all its passion) and Christ. The questions we now need to ask ourselves are these:
- Who is the woman in Romans 7?
- Who is the first husband?
- Who is the second man wooing her?
- What are the fruit unto God and fruit unto death?
We are represented as the woman. It is clearly stated in Romans 7:4 which says:
“Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.”
The First husband
The first husband in the actual and primary sense is Satan but in the secondary sense is the flesh. Paul said, “For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death.” Rom 7:5.
“When we were in the flesh” could be compared to a woman living in the house with a man whom you are not in love with. The phrase “the motions of sins” reads “our sinful passions” in RSV. These sinful passions reside in the flesh. That means sinful passions or propensities are in our very nature. It is woven directly into our very being.
Ellet Joseph Waggoner rightly puts it:
“Sin is in the heart of man; “for from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness; all these evil things come from within.” Mark 7:21-23. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” Jer.17:9. Sin is in every fiber of our being by nature. We are born in sin, and our life is sin, so that sin can not be taken from us without taking our life. What I need is freedom from my own personal sin, – that sin which not only has been committed by me personally, but which dwells in the heart, – the sin which constitutes the whole of my life . . . Sin is in all flesh.”- The Glad Tidings, p. 86-88.
The sin that any one of us will commit reside already in the flesh, nature and heart of man that has not been renewed. It is through the flesh that Satan arouses us to disobey the Law of God. He tempts us by what we see, feel, smell and eat. Through the senses of the soul he seeks to gain control of the mind of man. He seeks to awaken the sinfulness in the nature of man that he might transgress the Law of God.
The works of the flesh are nothing but the works of Satan. The works of righteousness, done through faith in Jesus, are nothing but the fruit of the Holy Spirit. In the writings of Paul the flesh is regarded as “body of sin,” “our old man,” “body of this death,” “carnal mind.” (Romans 6:6; 7:24; 8:7). The flesh is evil because it accommodates another power which is regarded as the sin-master or carnal mind that controls use against our will if we are not renewed.
The flesh is also weak and cannot obey the law of God. The law of sin is in our member (flesh) which is continually warring against the law of God in our mind. (Romans 7:23). The war between the flesh and the Spirit is seen pointed out in Gal 5:17:
“For the desires (passions) of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you would” (RSV).
This warfare between the flesh and Spirit is preventing us to do the good we would have desired to do. Gal 5:17 validates what Christ said in Gethsemane about the ability of the flesh. He said:
“watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41.
The flesh is weak and incapable of doing any good things that we might be willing to do no matter how hard we try. Therefore, the first husband, the husband whom the woman got married to is none other than Satan who controls us against our will through our sinful flesh, carnal mind and sinful heart desires.
The second husband
The second man or husband is Jesus Christ. Paul said:
“Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.” Romans 7:4
Who was raised from the dead?
“Jesus Christ our Lord . . . the Son of God with power, according to the Spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead.” Romans 1:3, 4.
The fruit unto God are the fruit of the Spirit listed in Gal 5:22, 23. While fruit unto death are the fruit of Satan or works of the flesh listed in Gal 5:19-21. It should be remembered that, the first marriage with Satan had led the woman to bear fruit unto death. Both her self-righteous and sinful deeds were done through the help of Satan. All are righteousness, before God, are filthy rags because they were done through the spirit of Satan.
Killing the Children
There was a time the woman once thought of killing the children. The children represent her actions, fruits, lifestyle and deeds that reveals to the world who she was actually married to, either to Satan or to Christ.
She was busy cutting the branches and plucking the fruits to solve the problem. But the more she cuts the branches and plucks the fruits, the more the branches and fruit reappears, even in a greater degree. Little did she know that Satan will continue to use her and implant in her his evil seed even against her own will. Provided the husband is still alive and she still stays with him, in the flesh, she will continue to bear fruit for him no matter how many of her children she kills daily.
The solution therefore is not how hard she needs to try in destroying the children; the solution to her problem of bearing sinful fruits is the death of her husband. The problem is not the fruits, the problem is the source of fruits. That is why in the plan of salvation, revival must precede reformation. Mrs. White beautifully differentiate the two work of grace that God need to do in man before he can be accepted into His heavenly bliss. She penned the following:
“Revival and reformation are two different things. Revival signifies a renewal of spiritual life, a quickening of the powers of mind and heart, a resurrection from spiritual death. Reformation signifies a reorganization, a change in ideas and theories, habits and practices. Reformation will not bring forth the good fruit of righteousness unless it is connected with the revival of the Spirit. Revival and reformation are to do their appointed work, and in doing this work they must blend.”- Review and Herald, February 25, 1902 par. 8
Reformation is the cutting of the branches and plucking of the fruits and the reorganization of ones lifestyle which can only be done through the help of the Holy Spirit when one has experience true and genuine revival—the spiritual death of the first husband.
Destroying the Law
Another option that has once occurred to her is the doing away or destruction of the Law that binds her to her husband. The problem is not with the Law. A change or alteration of the Law would not solve the problem. This has led many professed Christians to regard the Law of God (Ten Commandments) as irrelevant.
They say, “We are not under the Law but under grace” and by doing so they tend to abolish the law to their own damnation, while in reality the Law is absolutely still binding upon all. Paul, in the same Romans 7 verses 7, 12-14, 16, 22, 25, has the following to say about the perpetuity of the Law:
“What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet . . . Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good. Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful. For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. . . I consent unto the law that it is good . . . For I delight in the law of God after the inward man . . . I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” Rom 7:7-25.
Thus the issue is not with the Law because it’s the same law which binds the first marriage that will bind the second marriage. The Law of marriage is an eternal principle as long as life shall last. The change that must come in to solve the problem is the death of her husband– the old man, the sin-master, the carnal mind, the flesh, the mind of Satan or the stoning heart.
The old husband must die before the new Husband can come in. It is the old husband that is to be eradicated and done away with not the Law that condemned’s adultery or fornication.
It should be clearly noted by all that:
The same law that condemns any marriage contract outside the present marriage is the same Law that commends or encourage remarriage when the husband dies. The condition for freedom from the present marriage is the death of the first husband. When the husband dies, then a new marriage relationship can be consummated and the peace the woman seeks can finally be secured. Without this experience we shall continue to serve Satan, through the flesh, and bear fruits unto his honor.
To be continued in part two